Chuck Versus Eureka
by Metropolis Kid
Summary: On what should've been one of the happiest days of his life, something goes terribly wrong. Now, Chuck and the rest of Team B must navigate a strange town that's much more than it seems if they're to have any hope of setting things right. CxS Comedy
1. Chapter 1

**Chuck Versus Eureka**

**Disclaimer: **I don't own any material contained within this story. All copyrighted content remains the property of the person, people, or organization that holds the copyright. This story is solely for fun.

**AN: **This is only intended to be a silly, little three or four chapter story. Please, don't take it too seriously. Thanks. :)

* * *

Chuck checked himself in the mirror. No missed buttons. No crease lines. No stains. His tie was straight, and he'd finally managed to figure out the proper way to wear a cummerbund. He was good to go, and just in time. If they were on time, Morgan and Casey would be coming by to pick him up in just a few minutes. And while Morgan could become sidetracked occasionally, Colonel John Casey was _always_ on time.

Chuck walked into the main room of the condo he usually shared with Sarah - usually being every day except for those in the past week. Funny, he'd never pegged _her_ for a superstitious woman... but it seemed that there were a few traditions that even Sarah Walker - CIA super-spy - believed in. And this was apparently one of them.

Chuck sighed. He missed her. He longed to hold her again, to cuddle up with her in front of the TV after returning from a successful mission. He missed lying next to her in bed, waking up beside her the next morning... as well as the _other_ things they'd do in bed together.

But the separation period was nearly over; and after today, nothing would come between them ever again... or so the nerd-herder, turned pacifist spy, thought as he approached the TV that was currently blaring some advertisement about a new Men's baldness treatment.

Apparently, when he'd staggered off to bed, half asleep already, last night, Chuck had forgotten to turn the thing off. Well, he'd be sure to fix that before he left. After all, there was no need to leave the chatter box running for two weeks with no one watching it.

Chuck reached the TV and stretched his arm around the side to push the off button. He had no idea where the controller was and wasn't about to waste his time looking for it, no, not now, not when what he'd dreamed of for years was so tantalizingly close. But before he could push the button, the screen flashed rapidly. Then Chuck's eyes rolled up into his head, and he fell forward, unconscious, to the floor.

* * *

"Come on, Buddy, wake up," Morgan pleaded as he lightly tapped the side of his best friend's face. Chuck moaned slightly, but otherwise refused to stir. "Oh, Casey, this isn't good. If we don't do something, Chuck's going to miss his own wedding! Then what will he do?"

"Grimes?"

"What will Sarah do?"

"Grimes."

"What will _they_ do?"

"Grimes!"

"What will become of them? Wha-"

"Grimes!" Casey finally roared, stopping the best-man's babbling mid-word. "Relax," the government trained killer reached into his outer jacket pocket and retrieved a small cylinder. He unscrewed the top, and extended it towards Morgan, who was still huddled over Chuck's unconscious form. "Just hold this up to his nose for a couple of seconds. Stuff's strong enough to wake the dead."

Morgan eyed the large man strangely for a second or two. "Do... you always carry smelling salt to a wedding?"

"An NSA agent has to always be prepared for any eventuality," Casey quickly replied.

"Always be prepared," Morgan mused aloud. "Hey, isn't that the cub-scout motto?"

Casey growled menacingly, and Morgan let the subject drop. He held the cylinder up to his unconscious friend's nose and began lightly tapping his cheek once more. "Come on, Chuck. Wakie, wakie, eggs and bakie."

"Wakie, wakie, eggs and bakie?" Casey repeated with a bizarre mixture of surprise and scorn. "Of all the... HEY, BARTOWSKI, WAKE UP!"

Suddenly Chuck began to stir. "I... ah, what happened?"

"Funny, that's what we were going to ask you."

"I... I don't know," Chuck replied as he sat up. "The last thing I can remember is reaching to turn the TV off. And then the next thing I know, I'm lying on the floor with you two looking down on me."

Casey huffed. "Groom faints right before his own wedding," he commented half under his breath. "You getting cold feet, Bartowski?"

"What? Never! I love Sarah with all m-"

"Yeah, yeah," Casey interrupted as he reached around Chuck's side and lifted the groom-to-be to his feet. "Enough of the romantic gobbly-gook. If you want to make your wedding, we'd better get going. Wouldn't want to give Agent Walker the chance to come to her senses now, would we?" the NSA agent teased in a sardonic tone, drawing glares from the other two men in the room.

* * *

The church was beautiful. Morgan, Ellie and Awesome had done an amazing job of combining both Chuck's and Sarah's tastes together into a wonderful wedding theme. A red velvet carpet with golden Klingon symbols stretched down the center aisle. White bows in the shape of tie-fighters decorated the ends of each pew. And the tune to Duel of the Fates, playing on a traditional church pipe-organ, could be lightly heard in the background.

Yes, Chuck reflected, the church was beautiful... but it paled in comparison to the figure now gliding down the center aisle. Agent Sarah Walker would _always_ be beautiful in Chuck's eyes, but as she slowly, gracefully moved down the aisle in her white, puffy, fru-fru wedding dress with her long train and her thin, lightly sparkling veil, the sight of his future wife literally took Chuck's breath away. He grabbed Morgan for support as he strained his breathing through his teeth in an attempt to recover and keep from upsetting the ceremony, and everyone had the decency to pretend not to notice the loud, sharp intake that split the church air for a moment.

Sarah reached the front of the church and stood facing Chuck, and the latter - a _truly_ hopeless romantic - found himself lost in her dark blueish-green eyes as the priest began his wedding speech. Meanwhile, Chuck's best friend couldn't help but get a little caught up in the moment as he locked longing eyes with one of one of the ladies near the front row, Alex McHugh, Casey's daughter. And in that moment the bearded, little man realized that he wanted this for him and her as well. He wanted to stand before the same pulpit with Alex, as the two of them were joined together for the rest of their lives. Morgan pictured it, a very similar wedding that would follow, not _too _closely on the heels of Chuck and Sarah's. Then a low rumbling sound snapped Chuck's best-man back to the here and now, as he turned to his right and found himself staring up at his love's father.

"See something you like, Grimes?" Casey challenged in a warning tone, one just barely loud enough for Morgan to hear him. The seasoned NSA agent didn't want to disrupt the ceremony. But he had guessed what was going through the smaller man's mind, and he _did _want to make it clear that he wasn't ready to give his blessing to such a union... at least not yet.

Meanwhile the priest reached the part of the ceremony where the bride and groom took their vows, and Chuck was finally able to pull himself out of the ambient pools that were his own lover's eyes enough to hear the words being spoken once more. "Chuck Bartowski, do you take this woman, Sarah Walker, to be your wife, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death do you part?"

Chuck smiled happily and without any reservations prepared to utter the phrase he'd longed to say to Sarah since before he'd even known her. He opened his mouth, then shivered slightly for a split second and responded, "Lug."

"What?" Sarah suddenly asked, her eyes widening in confusion.

Chuck's brow furled. Hadn't she heard him? Hadn't the priest? Why wasn't the ceremony continuing? They must've heard him. After all they were scarcely a foot away. Even still... well, _'better safe than sorry',_ Chuck figured as he opened his mouth once more. "Lug!" the man in love proclaimed with even more vigor.

Sarah let out a little mock chuckle. She kept her smile firmly screwed to her face, but out of the side of her mouth, the girl whispered, "Okay, Chuck, this isn't funny anymore."

Chuck's face fell into a genuinely puzzled expression. "Lug," he declared again. "Lug. Lug. Lug!" he desperately insisted as he turned to the priest. Everything was falling apart, and the poor guy had no idea why.

Seeing the expression on her husband-to-be's face as well as the desperation in his tone, Sarah's initial reaction of shock and insult quickly gave way to fear and concern. Something was obviously wrong with Chuck. And what was worse, she had no idea what it was.

"I'm sorry, Son, I'm afraid I don't understand," the priest replied solemnly.

"I think he's saying 'lug'," Morgan cut in.

"Lug? But... but what does that mean?" the priest asked in confusion.

"It's Klingon for 'Yes' and/or 'I'll do it'."

"What? What's a Klingon? And why would he-" the priest began to question but stopped mid-word as Chuck shivered again, then grabbed his wife-to-be and pulled her against him. And suddenly the bride and groom, not yet married, were tango-ing down the center aisle of the church. Well, Chuck was tango-ing anyway; Sarah was just more or less being dragged beside him with a look upon her face that bordered on hysteria.

The look upon Chuck's face wasn't so different as he wondered why he couldn't stop his legs from moving, or make his arms release his partner. Everyone in the church was staring at the two in utter shock. The priest, an elderly man, looked as if he might faint. And through it all, Chuck had no idea why his marriage, which should've gone off without a hitch, had suddenly turned into a scene out of candid camera.

* * *

Well, hope you all got a kick out of the first chapter. Please let me know what you thought of it, okay? If you think it's worth the effort to continue, or I should just concentrate on my preexisting fics. Anyway, thanks for reading. Hope you got at least a few laughs out of it.

Have a good day, and God bless.

Metropolis Kid.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2: Virus Alert**

**AN: **Yeah, so my school load is very light for the rest of the week, so I figured I'd try to get another chapter or two out before things pick up again next week. Anyway, this is the chapter in which the worlds start to collide. Hope you enjoy.

* * *

Chuck twirled his future wife around uncontrollably, their bodies pressing together in ways hardly suited to a house of the Lord until finally and without warning, he dipped Sarah deeply and then held her like that for a second. The dance had stopped right in front of the pew housing Ellie and Awesome, and the latter took this opportunity to try to help out his wife's brother. Captain Awesome stood and slowly approached the pair of intertwined love birds. "Ah, Chuck, what's going on," the 'captain' asked, echoing the sentiments of every single person in the room, as he gently placed his hand on Chuck's shoulder.

Suddenly the groom shivered again, and then he released Sarah, and spun around, knocking Awesome to the floor with a wide leg sweep. Chuck leapt onto his brother-in-law and began to punch him repeatedly in the face. The other guests rushed to help, pulling Chuck off of his brother-in-law, but the living Intersect launched into a flurry of martial arts moves, kicking, jabbing, and flipping his guests around like they were nothing more than practice dummies.

More than one guest was left bloodied, and the longer the brawl lasted the worse it seemed to get, until the crackling boom of a gunshot split the air and Chuck went down. His leg began to bleed and as he looked at it, he shivered once more. Suddenly he was tearing at his clothes and transforming them into a makeshift medkit as he used the scraps of fabric to tie up the wound. And Casey, barrel still smoking from the shot, used this as an opportunity to get close to Chuck and knock him out with the butt of the Colt pistol.

* * *

The darkness began to fade, and Chuck found himself staring up at a white light. For a moment he wondered if he were dead, but then as things began to focus familiar faces took form behind the stranger holding the small light to Chuck's eye.

The first face was Sarah's, her veil pulled back behind her head, and Chuck smiled. Then Morgan came into focus. "Don't worry, Chuck. The doctor says you'll be fine."

Then, finally Casey's face came into focus as well; and, as his short term memory clicked back into place, Chuck opened his mouth, shivered and yelled, "Te... te súlygolyó nekem!"

Morgan looked confused by the exclamation. He thought he was pretty well up on his Klingon, but he'd never heard those words before.

"Well, what did you want me to do? Just stand by while you beat the snot out of all your guests?" Casey defended.

"You understood that?" Morgan inquired.

"Of course; it's Hungarian."

"Hungarian?" the bearded man repeated in surprise. "Well, what did he say?"

"Oh, Bartowski's just complaining about me shooting him," Casey answered Morgan before turning back to Chuck. "Quit being such a softy; it's only a little leg wound. You'll be fine."

Sarah couldn't help but cast a nasty look at Casey. While, given the circumstances, she did understand him shooting her husband-to-be in the leg and knocking him out, she still couldn't help but feel resentful that her big day had ended up being such an abysmal catastrophe. And with Chuck hurt and strapped into a hospital bed, at the moment, Sarah could feel nothing but concern and sympathy for him. So, her resentment ended up flowing towards Colonel Casey.

"_Why_ did you bring a gun to my wedding in the first place?" She barked.

"I've made a lot of enemies over the years. I wanted a little protection in case something unexpected happened. Come on, you gonna tell me you went into that thing completely unarmed?"

And as Sarah remembered the throwing knives tucked into her leggings, she softened somewhat. Then Chuck squeezed her hand, and any lingering animosity was over shadowed by a need to comfort her lover. "Don't worry, Chuck, we'll get through this. Doctor Jekyll's the best neurologist in the US."

Morgan turned to Casey and whispered, "Doctor Jekyll?"

"You don't want to make fun of his name, trust me," Casey replied, almost under his breath, and Morgan decided to drop the matter.

The doctor finished his examination and then sighed. "Yes, it's as I feared. It's the Intersect. It seems to have a virus of some sort."

" A vírus?" Morgan exclaimed

"Hogyan lehetséges?" Chuck added

"I'm sorry, what was that?" the Doctor replied.

"He asked how that's possible?" Sarah translated.

"I have no idea. I'm a doctor, not a computer programmer. But his brain is showing very abnormal activity in the sectors tied to the Intersect. And I've ruled out any physical trauma or brain damage. That can only mean that there's something wrong with the Intersect itself. And since the Intersect is basically a neuro-computer system and was working fine during the patient's last mission, a virus would seem to be the most likely cause, would it not?"

"So... how do we fix it?" Morgan inquired.

"No idea," the doctor replied. "I'm afraid this is a little out of my field."

"So what do we do?" Sarah asked, a subtle tone of helplessness beginning to creep into her voice.

"Simple, I'll send my report to Beckman, and she'll forward it to whoever is best suited to the task and then contact you when she has a solution. Until then, I'd recommend you keep the patient restrained. That computer in his brain seems to be accessing bits of data randomly, and until that stops he's a danger to himself and others. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a report to pass on."

* * *

"Good news," the General proclaimed through the large, monitor display. "We believe we've come up with a way to purge the Intersect of this virus."

"Wow," Morgan commented in an impressed tone. "That was pretty fast. Two days with a completely new kind of virus, and they've already figured out how to cure it."

"Actually, that's not entirely true," The general replied. "When I informed my superiors of the situation, as well as what an asset the Intersect has been, they agreed to give the members of Team Bartowski clearance to classified information that I've had to keep from you in the past."

The image of the general shrank and moved to the left side of the screen as a three dimensional, digitized map appeared on the right. "There is a small town In Oregon called Eureka. On the surface it looks like any other small town in the North West. But in reality it houses the greatest minds in America. It's a town of physicists, quantum theorists, cyberneticists, bio-engineers, and just about any other scientific specialty you can think of. And as it turns out, the town has actually dealt with a bio-computer virus in the past. I've spoken with the head of GD, the research company that employs the vast majority of Eureka's residents and he has informed me that they believe they have a cure for Agent Bartowski. Of course the facilities necessary to carry out the procedure for this cure exist in only one place on the planet: Eureka itself."

"So, Team B's going on a road trip? Cool, I'll grab my mix-tape, oh and Chuck's mix-tape too. We'll swing by the Buymore on the way out and pick up some snacks, and-"

"Actually, Agent Grimes, that will not be necessary. Given the seriousness of the situation and the threat an unstable Intersect creates to National Security, provisions have already been made for you to fly to a secret landing strip within the town's borders. GD's administrator as well as the local sheriff and the head of GD security will meet you there, and Agent Bartowski will be taken directly to the GD complex where he'll begin the virus cleansing procedure immediately. And, if everything goes according to plan, Chuck should be completely back to normal before the day's done."

The good news had a different effect on each of the team members hearing it. Sarah was both relieved and happy to hear that she'd have her Chuck back so quickly. Morgan was a little disappointed about the lack of a 'Team B' road trip, which he imagined would've made a great team building experience, even still he was glad to hear that they were going to fix his best buddy up so quickly. And John Casey skeptically wondered when everything _had ever_ gone 'according to plan' in the past.

* * *

The plane arranged for Team B was a supersonic jet, and the flight passed quickly, though not quickly enough for Chuck who'd been confined to a straightjacket and strapped into a mobile dolly. Absently the unofficial leader of Team B thought about just how quickly his life had gone from Agent Carmichael - super spy - to Hannibal Lector - pariah of society. Less than two hours after takeoff, the plane touched down and Team B was greeted by a quaint-ish looking sheriff, a small, mousey looking guy in a suit and glasses, and a dark-haired woman in what appeared to be a suit of riot armor.

"Do you really think all that was necessary?" Sheriff Jack Carter whispered to the woman standing on his right.

"Take a look at the guy they're unloading from the cargo hold, and you tell me," Josephina Lupo answered.

"Yikes, I feel like the guy's going to try to eat my face off if I get too close!" Fargo cut in. "I thought we were helping a national hero here... not a psychotic killer?"

"You sure you're not going to need any help?" Jack asked Josephina as the three began to approach their guests.

"I know how to do my job," Jo replied, a touch of defensiveness in her tone, just before they drew close enough to run the risk of being overheard.

"Hello, and welcome to Eureka," Fargo greeted with forced hospitality. "Let's not waste any time, shall we?" the nerdy head of GD continued, fully intending to get anyone who was dangerous enough to require _that_ much restraint on his way as quickly as possible. "Sheriff Carter will give you three a ride down to Cafe Diem where you can relax and get yourselves a hot meal while Jo escorts your friend here to GD."

Sarah noticed that for some reason the other woman's eyes narrowed when the guy in the suit addressed her as "Jo", and the experienced CIA agent filed that odd little bit of information away in the back of her mind before moving onto what she considered a much more important piece of information. "I'm not leaving Chuck," Sarah declared.

"Huh?" Fargo responded as his brain processed the blonde's statement. "I'm sorry, but I'm afraid only one of you is cleared to enter the GD research facility."

"I didn't travel all this way, just to leave my fiancé at the door of some research facility I'd never even heard of before today. I'm going with Chuck," Sarah insisted with determination.

Fargo leaned over to his side and whispered to the dark haired woman to his left. "If something goes down, you can take them, right?"

Jo's only reply was to turn an angry glare on her 'boss'.

"Fargo, why don't you just let the girl go with her fiancé?" the sheriff cut in. "I'm sure she'd sign the non-disclosure agreement."

"But the clearance?"

"Fargo, trust me, I've seen that look before. She's not going to let this go," Jack continued.

"Do you want to risk an incident with the CIA?" Jo added in.

"Oh fine, just stomp all over procedure. See if I care," Fargo replied as he gave into the two law enforcement agents who'd saved his life more than a dozen times over. "I mean I'm just the head of GD," he grumbled sarcastically to himself, "why should anyone listen to me?" Then he turned back toward the visitors. "Fine, you can go with your fiancé, provided you sign a non-disclosure agreement when you arrive. But you two are still going to the cafe," he then added with more force as he attempted to maintain some semblance of leadership.

"Fine with us," Morgan replied congenially. "I could use a mid-day, espresso pick-me-up anyway."

Casey merely grunted.

* * *

Hey, sorry guys and gals. This chapter wasn't nearly as funny as I was hoping. Ting is it took me much longer than expected to transition from Burbank to Eureka. Consequently, I'm afraid that most of the funny stuff I had planned for this chapter won't take place until the next one. :( Hopefully you still found a couple of things worth laughing at though.

Have a good day, and God bless.

Metropolis Kid.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3: The Incident at GD**

**AN: **Okay, hopefully this chapter will have a bit more humor.

* * *

Chuck and Sarah had barely entered the GD complex when they got their first taste of the classified experiments. As they walked through the lobby, a white streak suddenly flew past Sarah's head. Two more followed, and Sarah just barely managed to duck in time to avoid them. Chuck, who confined to the dolly was unable to dodge, wasn't so lucky, and he felt something soft and warm impact his right cheek and ricochet off.

The glitchy human computer let out some exclamation, but it was muffled by the gag, which had been placed over his mouth to keep him from accidentally blabbing any government secrets to people who didn't have the clearance to hear them. Then he turned his head, as much as possible, in an attempt to see what had hit him. But, whatever it was, it had managed to adjust its trajectory, and Chuck was unable to get another glimpse of what had hit him.

Fargo, on the other hand, seemed to know exactly what was going on. "Oh no, they're out again! Someone call up Taggart, and get him down here!"

"Now, now, no need to get your knickers in a bunch," a somewhat gruff voice responded in an obviously Australian accent. "I'm already here, and I'll have the little beasties back in their cages before they can cause any _serious_ sort of ruckus."

"Oh, well, see that you do," Fargo replied.

Just then, Sarah felt a subtle tugging at her small purse; and, instinctively, the CIA agent spun around and grabbed hold of what was pulling on her... only to find fur in her hand and deep dark eyes staring innocently up at her. The creature's pink nose bobbed up and down as its two large teeth cut into the packet of peanuts Sarah had stuffed into her purse while on the plane. "What the..."

"Ah, you caught one. Many thanks, sheila. You just made my job considerably easier."

"Wait, _this_ is what all the fuss is about? Bunny rabbits?"

"_Experimental_ 'bunny' rabbits gifted with the power of self propelled and controlled flight," Fargo corrected.

To say that Sarah was stunned would've been putting it mildly. Flying Bunny Rabbits? Somehow it sounded more like the basis for a children's cartoon series than the makings of a top secret government experiment.

The Australian walked over to Sarah and pulled a small cube of metal from his pocket. He tugged at it for a second and the CIA agent watched in surprise as it expanded into a small, portable cage. Then Taggart reached for the bunny rabbit Sarah was holding and the combination of the grin on his face and the light shining off the large, very noticeable scar running down the left side of his face lent a somewhat sinister appearance to the scene.

Sarah turned away, instinctively shielding the small animal. "You... you're not going to hurt it, are you?"

Suddenly the frightening grin seemed to soften. "They be the Devil's own minions, but don't worry. Each one of the little buggers is worth more than I make in a year; I won't harm a hair on its head." And Sarah, feeling encouraged by the statement and finally realizing that rationally she had to hand the animal over, reluctantly parted with the small creature.

"Ah, there we go," the Australian commented. "One down, and only two more to go. Now, where did those other two get t- Ahah, there you are!" The man pulled a tranq-gun from his pocket and took aim at another bunny, this one tucked into a corner of the ceiling.

Taggart shot, and his aim was perfect, driving the tip of the dart into the creature's rump. Startled, the bunny took off immediately, but as the sedative began its work, the pace of the creature's flight slowed till it gently coasted to the floor below.

The Australian hunter retrieved the second bunny and placed it in the cage along with the first. Then he scanned the room for the third. Said third bunny was no slouch however, and already having seen both of its compatriots captured, the creature's mind began to plan its best chance for escape. The air ducts, of course; those were the only hope. The large predator tracking it would not fit in there. Or, if he could fit, his movement would be greatly slowed buy the confined space. The bunny screwed up its courage and bolted from its hiding place, making a break for the only open air vent in the room.

Taggart caught sight of his target and fired. But the bunny banked at the last second, and the shot went just a hair wide. The hunter took aim again, but his prey streaked by the maintenance man who was fiddling with the settings on the high-tech, vent cover that he'd pulled from the air duct; and in Taggart's anxiousness to down the last bunny before it made it into the duct system, his aim was just slightly off. His shot brushed the fur of the speeding bunny, but ended up implanting itself in the maintenance man's neck instead.

"Bugger," the hunter growled as he realized his mistake. "Sorry," he called out to the maintenance man, who was already looking a little woozy, and then began to ponder the question of how to best ensnare a bunny flying through an air duct maze. This was going to be trickier than he'd thought.

* * *

Chuck was slowly lowered into a vat of warm, orange goo. "Now, the liquid you're sitting in will allow us to download the information contained within the Intersect - including whatever virus is causing all this trouble. We'll then write an anti-virus code, clean all the infected files, and then re-upload the information - along with the anti-virus code to prevent any future infections - back into your brain, via the monitor in front of you," a disembodied yet somehow soothing voice informed from somewhere up in the observation/control deck.

"Yeah, so just sit back, relax, and leave everything to us," a second, more mischievous voice added.

"I'm sorry, Miss Walker, but I'm afraid you'll have to leave the area," the first voice instructed when Sarah didn't depart with the two workers who'd lowered Chuck into the vat. "This procedure has been specifically developed for Chuck and there's no telling what would happen should a third party be exposed."

"But I-" Sarah began, but was cut off.

"Don't worry, you're welcome to join us on the observation deck. You can keep an eye on your fiancé from here."

Sarah looked down at Chuck, and the latter squeezed her hand, such an act being the only form of contact and communication they could have at the moment. "Don't worry, Chuck. Everything will be fine. You'll be back to normal in no time... and then we can start planning our _next_ wedding." Chuck released Sarah's hand, and she kissed him on the top of his head before heading towards the door.

The download process began, and in the observation deck above, Zane's hand moved to cover up his mic. "You know we could have some fun while we're in here," he suggested. "Plant a few hypnotic suggestions? Make the guy quack like a duck every time he sees a yellow bus? Have him start singing _Numa, Numa_ whenever he hears a bell?"

Henry shook his head. "This is a serious scientific procedure, not a high-tech game of hypnosis."

"No reason it can't be both," Zane countered.

"Zane," Jo warned.

And the young scientist sighed. "Alright, alright, JoJo... Sheash, no one around here has a sense of humor."

Sarah entered the room, and apparently noticed the slight tension which hung in the air. "Is something wrong?"

"No, everything's fine," Jo answered.

"Yes, apparently, it's all going as planned," Zane grumbled half under his breath.

Ah, but not _everything_ was going according to plan. For, though no one noticed it, someone was still in the room with Chuck, a very small someone. The one remaining, loose, flying bunny had managed to score a stack of carrot sticks from the building's cafeteria, and it was now hunkered down in the air vent which fed into the room, quietly nipping on its bounty as it hid out from the predator pursuing it.

* * *

"Okay, we're ready to start re-uploading the information. Just keep your eyes glued to the monitor and this will be over in no time."

The instruction was unnecessary. As soon as the images began to flash, Chuck found himself captivated by the screen and unable to look away. Faster and faster the images passed by until each one was nothing more than a blur, yet Chuck's subconscious mind registered each one and deciphered the information it contained. And in this he was not alone, for a stray glance in the direction of the bizarre flashing had insured the flying bunny's captivation as well. And as the seconds drew to minutes, both minds were taxed to their limits. But finally, relief came as the flashing images slowed to a halt. Then the screen went black and both Chuck and the bunny passed out.

* * *

Chuck was long gone and the room was all but deserted by the time Taggart entered it in search of his prey. He'd borrowed a DNA tracker from one of the labs, scooped a bit of stray fur from the bunny's old cage and had used both to track the flying nuisance to its hiding place. "Okay, little one, come out, come out, wherever you are," the hunter said as he carefully looked around the room. Then his eyes settled on the air vent, and he knew where the creature was hiding. "Ah, so that's where you are."

Taggart removed the Swiss-army knife from his pocket and used it to unscrew the grate. He pulled it out carefully, so as not to disturb his sleeping prey or risk damaging any of the delicate circuits lining the grate's outer border. Then, after leaning the covering gently against the wall, the Australian hunter reached in to grab his prey.

The bunny woke up instantly as it felt the hunter's large mitts close around it, and the creature panicked. But then something most unusual happened. A long series of Asian symbols and poses flashed within its eyes, and suddenly the bunny broke free of the hunter's grip. It flew forward, its small body moving almost entirely on its own accord, and launched into a flurry of kicks.

Taggart, stupefied by the sudden turnaround, wasn't even able to raise his hands in defense; and he soon fell helplessly before the bunny's assault. Then the creature came out of its martial arts daze and beheld the unconscious hunter lying on the floor, and a little light bulb went off above its head. The bunny didn't know how or why, but in addition to its gift of flight the human overlords had apparently granted it a new power. And with this new power, the bunny would finally be able to succeed where it had failed so many times in the past. It took off like a bolt and sped back towards the seat of its long time captivity, back towards its caged brethren. Soon, they'd all be freed... and no one would be able to stop them.

* * *

Having received a call for Sarah, Morgan and Casey exited Cafe Diem both full and satisfied. The food had been truly incredible, made even more so by the fact that the cafe didn't have a menu and instead its patrons were allowed to pick anything they wanted to eat. Vincent was a truly amazing chef; it didn't even seem possible that one man could be an expert at preparing such a wide variety of dishes. And Casey reflected that, in her insistence to accompany Chuck, Walker had quite possibly missed out on the best meal of her life. Even still, he supposed that she wouldn't have behaved any differently, even if she'd known what awaited her at Cafe Diem

Both Casey and Morgan headed towards the police station for their ride back to the landing strip. Said police Station was several blocks away, but neither of them minded the walk. It'd give them a chance to burn off a few of the calories they'd just consumed. Yes, Chuck was all better, Sarah was happy, Morgan and Casey had just finished the best meal of their lives, and even John Casey - the persistent cynic of the team - had to admit (to himself at least) that for once it seemed everything had indeed gone according to plan.

And then the other shoe fell as, looking up, both Casey and Morgan beheld the strangest sight either of them had ever seen. A very unusual cloud of white passed slowly over the two, and both cast an unsure look at each other.

"Ah, Casey?"

"Yeah."

"Did... did you just see what I just saw?"

"A flock of flying white rabbits?" Casey replied in an unsure tone.

"Oh, thank God!" the small man exclaimed as he forgot himself for a second and hugged the NSA trained assassin standing next to him. "For a minute there, I thought I'd lost my mind."

"No, but you might lose those arms if you don't let go of me," Casey growled in response.

Morgan chuckled nervously as he released the larger man. "Sorry."

Then they both turned to watch the departing flock of flying bunny rabbits. "So... what do you think is going on?"

"No idea," Casey replied. "But whatever it is, it's got 'Chuck' written all over it."

* * *

Okay, that takes care of chapter three. :) Hopefully, you all enjoyed... and got a few more laughs out of this chapter than the last. I might end up adding one more chapter, but I'm not really sure when I'll be getting around to it. So, yeah, sorry, but I'm afraid this is going to be it for a little while at least.

Have a good day, and God bless.

Metropolis Kid.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4: Flying Bunny Round Up**

**AN:** Okay, last chapter coming up. Hope you guys and gals enjoy. ;) Oh, and I've added in a few more references. For a little added fun, see how many you can spot. ;)

* * *

"This is quite possibly the worst disaster we've ever had in the history of Eureka!"

Sheriff Carter couldn't help but laugh at that, drawing an angry glare from the current head of GD. "I'm sorry, Fargo... But really, the worst disaster? We had a science project that got out of control and threatened to create a second sun, not to mention the fruitcake debacle last Christmas that shrunk the town down to the size of a snow globe... or the moon death ray thing that nearly destroyed the entire planet. Somehow I don't think a loose swarm of flying bunny rabbits is anywhere near as big a catastrophe as those."

"Don't kid yourself, Mate," Taggart cut in, "Sure, they may look all cute and cuddly, even still don't be fooled. Underneath each of those bundles of fur lurks the soul of a psychotic monster, just waiting to attack!" The Australian tracker pointed to the large scar on the left side of his face and pulled up the bottom of his shirt to reveal another, even deeper scar running across his belly. "You want to know how I got these scars? I was in Hungary, somewhere near Repashuta. Reports of mysterious animal killings had leaked out of the area, and the blood drained carcasses bore a remarkable resemblance to local folklore involving vampire attacks on humans. Now, unless some government agency's been keeping a night stalker locked up in their basement somewhere, no one's ever managed to successfully track and capture a vampire, but I was determined to be the first.

"I was hot on the creature's tail, drawing ever closer to it with each passing day. And then, I heard the cry of a wild Lipizzaner in its death throes. I followed it 'till I reached a clearing, then I crouched low and then slowly crept out from the tree line, silver lined net launcher firmly in my hand. But all I saw was a dead horse and a cute, little bunny rabbit. Assuming that my prey had moved on, I slung my net launcher behind my back, and then I made my second mistake. I approached the dead animal's carcass, paying no heed to the little bunny rabbit. And that... THAT was when the beast attacked. It was monstrous, with its wee-little claws, and unbelievably fast! It's claws tore up the left side of my face and belly, and I was lucky to escape with my life!

"And since that day, I've known - though no one will listen to my warnings - that what we believe to be nothing more than cute, harmless critters are in reality viscous killers just waiting to strike! That all the legends got it wrong. Vampires - mankind's' greatest foes and only natural predators - are _not_ undead humans, but rather a subspecies of rabbit!"

Everyone in the room just stared at the large Australian for a moment. Taggart was not known to be the most... 'stable' of men - being one of the few forty-plus-year-olds to still believe in Santa Clause, as well as having a PHD in the study of beats of myth and legend, but even from him, such a tale still seemed somewhat surprising. Silence hung thick in the room for a minute as the rest of its occupants reached an unspoken but unanimous decision to let the Australian tracker's bunny vampire tale drop where it was, and move the subject back something more realistic: a swarm of flying bunny rabbits lead by one who'd been given knowledge of all U.S. military secrets and training programs.

"If those things get out of Eureka and start breeding with the regular bunny population, in thirty years all the bunnies in the world could be zipping along through the wide, open skies! And who do you think is going to get blamed for unleashing a mutant bunny rabbit outbreak on the world? That's right, me, Douglas Fargo, head of GD." The man sunk down into his chair, a feeling of desperation crawling over him, "We've got to get those bunnies back, or I'm going to get canned this time for sure."

"Don't worry, we'll get the bunnies back," Jo stated in a determined tone.

"You've got plan?" Fargo replied, hopefully.

"When don't we have a plan?" Jo responded.

"Yeah, they never work right... but we've always got them," Jack Carter added in a half-joking tone. "We'll just outfit Martha with some tranq-launchers and a big bag and let her round up the swarm."

"It'll never work," Fargo replied. "I've read about the information contained within that Intersect program. That bunny's now the top fighter pilot in America. We'd need a half dozen Martha's to keep up with it."

"Or one Martha and four or five wingmen," Taggart interjected. "Meet me outside the building in ten minutes; I've got an idea," he continued with enthusiasm before disappearing from the room.

"Now, what do you think he's up to?"

"Guess we'll find out in ten minutes."

* * *

"What are you four still doing here?" Fargo asked as he saw Chuck, Sarah, Casey and Morgan approaching in the GD packing lot.

"If it wasn't for my intersect troubles," Chuck began, "none of this would've ever happened."

"Yeah, we feel responsible for this mess," Morgan added.

"And we're not leaving until we help you clean it up," Sarah affirmed.

Casey merely grunted in agreement.

"Well, that's all very nice, but..." Fargo's voice suddenly dropped off as he heard a strange noise in the air above. "Are, are those bells?"

Everyone looked up, and they were all treated to a most unusual sight. For in the sky up above them, a sleigh and eight reindeer began to descend.

"What the..." Casey began before an Australian accent interrupted him.

"Now we're ready to round up some flying rabbits!" Taggart commented from the front seat of the sleigh.

"Um..." Morgan began as his mind tired to play catch-up to his eyes. "Santa?"

"Nah," the Australian, clothed in a red suit with white fur trimming, replied, "But I do look an awful lot like the big guy, don't I?"

"Taggart, _why_ are you dressed like that?" Jo asked in a bewildered tone.

"The sleigh's ignition is keyed to circuitry in the suit. It's kind of like the key to a car. After all Santa wouldn't want just anyone taking his sleigh out for a joy ride now, would he?"

"Um, about the sleigh," Chuck began in an unsure tone.

"A real 'beaut, ain't she?" Taggart replied with pride. "I built her myself last Christmas. For her size, she's the fastest, most maneuverable aircraft in Eureka... and with plenty of room for some sharp shooters," the man fished with a grin.

"Ah, I get it now," Carter responded, "We send Martha up to round up those loose bunny rabbits and a bunch of us cover her in this thing."

"You've got it," Taggart replied as he lifted a blanket off of a crate behind his seat. I've got tranq-guns, magnetic boots, butterfly nets, bottled water and beef jerky. Everything we need to round up those flying devils."

Everyone eyed the Australian and his sleigh, trying to decide if this was one of those ideas that was 'just crazy enough to work'... or just plain crazy. After a good ten seconds, Jack finally decided that, in the absences of any better suggestions, Taggart's plan was the best one they had. And the sheriff approached the sleigh.

The Australian held out his hand and said, "Welcome aboard, Mate." Jack took the offered arm and used it to help steady himself as he boarded the sleigh, Jo and team B following suit.

Chuck took aim and nailed another bundle of white fur right in its neck. Finally, those last couple of years of insistence on tranq-guns were starting to come in handy. Why, he hadn't even needed to flash yet and so far he was still one ahead of Casey, a feat the junior agent was pretty proud off.

Slowly the bunny began to descend as the sedatives worked their way through its blood stream, until finally its little eyes closed and it began to drop out of the air. Of course, Martha was ready with the rubberized-polymer bag she'd been equipped with for the mission. She easily caught the falling bunny before it could plummet far enough to cause any harm.

The sleigh rocketed overhead and suddenly veered sharply to the right as Taggart continued trying to dodge the Intersect bunny, who was desperately trying to bring down the large warship that was threatening its flock. "Taggart, look out! Fluffy's coming around for another pass!" Sarah quickly informed as the bunny, pulled off a tight U-turn and headed right for the pilot.

Unable to dodge the sleigh in time, Taggart once again found himself assaulted by a flurry of fuzzy kicks. The last of which - a powerful round house kick - knocked the large man out, and the sleigh began to veer away from what remained of the bunny swarm. Apparently satisfied with its progress, 'Fluffy' - as Sarah had taken to calling the critter - retreated back to the head of the bunny formation.

Morgan, seeing their chances of containing the outbreak vanish as the bunnies began to pull further away, decided on a desperate move. If it worked, he'd save the day and be a big, damn, hero. If it didn't... well, the short, bearded man tried not to think about that as he grabbed one of the giant red bags tucked under the back seat, opened it up, and dove at the swarm, ensnaring all but one of the remaining white rabbits in a single move.

"It worked? It worked!" Morgan shouted as he firmly gripped the rope attached to the bag's mouth. The small man laughed for a second or two before discovering that it hadn't worked_quite_ the way he'd anticipated. Either he'd over estimated the effect of his own weight upon the swarm, or he'd underestimated the amount of aerial thrust the bunnies were capable of. For, instead of slowly descending to the ground below, the ensnared swarm just kept on flying, though now that they were locked in a prison of red, they'd lost the ability to actually see where they were going; and they now zig-zaged wildly through the air. Morgan held on for dear life, and screamed for help at the top of his lungs. "Chuck! Sarah! Casey! Someone, HELP!"

"Morgan!" Chuck shouted.

"Don't worry, Chuck we'll get him," Sarah answered as she slipped the red coat and white gloves off the unconscious Australian, donned them herself and sat down in the pilot's seat.

Ah, but Fluffy saw what was going on and would have none of it. The Intersect bunny decided to leave its caged flock and once again stop the enemy warship before it could recover and pose a threat once more. Then, once that was accomplished, the bunny could return and deal with the crazy overlord who'd leapt upon its charges.

"Sarah, look out!" Chuck called, as he tossed his traq-gun over to Casey and ran to guard his fiancé. Sarah managed to duck under Fluffy's first pass; and by the time it came around again, Chuck had placed himself between Sarah and the bunny. Then both Intersects 'flashed', and the front of the sleigh turned into a martial arts battle of man versus flying bunny rabbit.

"Of all the..." Jo began before shaking her head. "What did your friend think he was doing?" she asked the large NSA agent beside her as Morgan and the ensnared bunnies flew chaotically through the air.

"Something stupid," Casey replied with a growling tone as he struggled to draw a bead on the zig-zaging bag of bunnies.

"Idiot's going to get himself killed," the head of GD security groaned. "No, not on my watch, he's not," she then stated firmly as she too leapt out of the sleigh... and unto Martha. The machine let out a short burst of questioning beeps.

"Think you can get me alongside that short guy with the beard?" Jo replied. Martha's single red eye moved rapidly from side to side as she processed the request and tried to understand Jo's thinking. Then the robotic drone chirped out an affirmative beep and sped towards the flying red bag, Jo holding on tightly.

"Is life in Eureka always this chaotic?" Casey asked the lawman beside him.

"Yup, pretty much... Your friends always this crazy?"

"Uhuh."

Meanwhile in the front on the sleigh, Chuck and the bunny were still engaged in their Intersect mortal combat, while Sarah desperately tried to figure out the bizarre control scheme the Australian tracker had used when he'd built this contraption. _'Why can't things ever go smooth?_' the blonde wondered as she pulled the stick that she thought would make the vehicle veer to the left... only to have it start rapidly spinning around in circles.

Fortunately, Martha had managed to pull alongside the bag of bunnies and momentarily match its randomized flight pattern. Jo jumped from the drone to the white rope that Morgan was still clinging to like dear life. And with their combined weight the bag finally began to slowly lose altitude.

"Well, how do you like that?" Carter began.

"They actually pulled it off," Casey continued in a surprised but approving tone. Then both turned to pepper shots at the Intersect bunny still battling Chuck. And, with Chuck matching the bunny's martial arts moves and both Casey and Carter firing rapidly at the speeding ball of fur, they managed to score a lucky hit. Fluffy slowed, and Chuck was finally able to catch it in a hold, until the sedatives took full effect and the bunny drifted off to sleep.

However, all was not fine yet, as the sleigh continued to rocket through the sky, now heading directly for the side of the GD building. Chuck noticed this and gulped. "Ah, Sarah?"

"Don't worry, Chuck, I think I've finally figured this thing out." The blonde pointed to one of the small red buttons with a candy-cane picture on it. "This should engage the sleigh's hovering mode... either that or activate the boosters and double our speed."

Chuck grimaced as Sarah pushed the button... only to have the sleigh's stereo system rocket to life as a nozzle popped out and refilled the cup of hot coco beside the pilot's seat. "Shoot, guess that wasn't it after all," Sarah commented as _Jingle Bell Rock_ blazed through the sleigh's speakers.

"Okay... maybe this one," Sarah continued as she pushed the green Christmas tree button below the red candy-cane one, and the sleigh finally stopped to hover in place... a mere two feet from the wall of the GD building.

Everyone onboard breathed a sigh of relief as they unanimously decided to wait until they could revive Taggart, instead of attempting to land the thing on their own.

Meanwhile, in the center of Archimedes' street, Morgan and Jo were still anchoring the bag of flying bunnies. "So..." Morgan began somewhat awkwardly. "How long do you think we'll have to stay like this?" Jo just looked at him and sighed.

* * *

**Epilogue:**

The sun was warm upon her skin and the gentle rocking of the waves provided a serene, calming back drop to the ceremony. Their second wedding was much different then their first had been. Their budget being practically exhausted by the grandness of the first meant that the second was far less gala... and far more close and intimate. In fact, Sarah reflected, this second wedding was more like the elopement that she'd tried to convince Chuck to take several months earlier.

They weren't completely alone however, and Sarah found that despite her earlier reservations she was glad of this fact. Her two friends from the old days - her two brides' maids - were to her left, as well as her new friend, Ellie, her Maid of Honor. And on Chuck's side there were the two ushers, John and Devon, and the Best Man, Morgan Grimes. Alex stood facing the ceremony, alongside the other two witnesses, Chuck's Mother and Hortencia, the wife of the semi-benevolent head of state who'd insisted on conducting the ceremony as his one condition for hosting the joyous union of new friends on his private beach.

"Do you, Chuck Bartowski, take this woman, Sarah Walker, as your wife? To live as partners throughout this life and share the good times and the bad? To never take for granted, but to love, respect and cherish till death do you part?" the Premier, Alejandro Fulgencio Goya asked of the husband to be.

"I do."

"Good, good. And, do you, Sarah Walker, take this man, Chuck Bartowski, to be your husband and your partner as long as you both shall live? To share the good and the bad, and to love, honor, and respect till death do you part?" the 'Generalissimo' then continued.

"I do."

"Excellent. Then, by the power invested in me by the last open and democratic election of Costa Gravas, I now pronounce you Husband and Wife. You may kiss the bride."

It was clearly evident that Chuck and Sarah didn't need to be told twice, as their lips locked into a long and passionate kiss, their first as partner's in life as well as love and spy business.

* * *

Okay, that should wrap up this silly, little tale. Hope you all enjoyed... and got a few more laughs out of this chapter. And if you've got the time, I'd love to hear what you thought of this little adventure. ;)

Have a good day, and God bless.

Metropolis Kid.

**PS.** In case anyone's wondering, Taggart's tale about the vampire bunny is based off of one of the creatures in Lion in the Land's fanfiction: B.I.T.E. Thanks, Lila. ;)


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